Tag Archives: Humor

My ass can’t live without you

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Dear stair-stepper,

we used to be unbreakable. I’d always come see you late at night when I was feeling down & you’d pick me up with lots of tough-love (tripping me, etc.) but you’d always lift my ass a hair-or-two if I visited frequently, so that is just what I did. But then I got busy. I guess you could say life happened, and I left. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen you, but my ass can’t live without you. I’m comin’ for you baby — I will step up to your love.

xoxo, the sweatiest brizzle of them all

If you’re currently stair-stepper-less, I recommend www.bodyrock.tv

What Finals do to College Students (Don’t read if you get scurrred easily…)

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 This is what happens when I let my hair “down” during finals. If you’re judging me, well, I can’t say I wouldn’t if the roles were switched. But I’d still try hard to pretend to be laughing with you vs. at you. I heard that takes the sting away a little bit.

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My mothers response was “oh dear… you have too much alone time on your hands.” Yah right mom, never! I never have alone time….But, my point is that college is hard!! I know this is a “no shit” moment because if it was easy everyone would do it but man… It isn’t for everybody. I have allowed the stress to turn me into a person I’m not too proud of (ex. photo above)  Pretty sure this isn’t my cup of tea — and to be honest, even if it were, I’d probably prefer vodka. (Don’t quote me on that)

All my love & a glimpse of insanity,

XOXO, College-Girl

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For those of you seeking something intelligent & truly inspiring this morning, click here (the word here, click it:) & you will (hopefully) be pleasantly surprised. Enjoy, & then have a kick-ass day. And holler at yo girl on Twitter @baileymikell My tweetin’ game has been out of this WORLD as of late. I catch onto things a little late compared to the average Amurrican. Sorry bout’ it. But hey, I made it! Be proud.

Kiss the Curb

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LADIES! I cannot preach this enough. Having a man around: dad, brother, uncle, boyfriend, baby-daddy, you get it — is all sweet n’ dandy. But what about when you have a flat tire and all the boys are away because they are working and you get to play? Or, what if you don’t have someone to help you with little things like checking your oil — do you have the funds to pay a mechanic each time your ‘check engine’ light goes off? You have to be able to take care of yourself in bad situations!

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Okay lets get this straight: I have learned this far too late in life & I am still trying to learn new things now, but better late than never. By the way, my mother did try & teach me, I just didn’t pay attention. She had to buy AAA so they could save my ass all the time. I’m sorry for being a little shit mom. Actually, I apologize for in the future, too. If I can do that then that would be cool. Don’t follow the leader in this story okay? Actually, always be your own leader in your own story. Okay so…

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I had a flat tire while running errands around this big ole’ town and Andy was at work. I was in my Sunday best — a vintage dress of my mums, bangles n’ sandals. My tire was FLAT as a damn pancake okay. I am not even kidding I felt like I was leaning to the side like a gangster (bwaha) because it was so low. I couldn’t drive any further on it because it would mess up my dope hubcaps. Can’t have that. Those things are wayyy too clean … (one has yellow paint on it from kissing a curb in the parking garage at work…so fresh)

Andy showed me how to check the tire pressure (PSI) so that it doesn’t blow up & ruin everything (including um, me/my skin/anyone around)

Just carry a handy lil’ tire gage & make sure you know what level they need to be at. And, anyone that is laughing their asses off at this post saying I’m a dumbass for JUST learning how to do this, well I just want to help anyone (um, if you’re out there…) that doesn’t know this. I didn’t.

Anyway, I’m outta here. My point is more than made, as usual.. Roll on.