Andy woke me up at 2:30 in the morning to tell me that our fish, Blackie Chan, has been eating the rocks in his bowl & then spitting them out. I asked him if that was some kind of joke when we got up today, and he said no. He accused me of starving Blackie – But I feed him 3 times a day. So what the hell dude? What kind of fish does that? Anyway, that was the way I started my day today.
Lately whenever water gets spilled on the floor & I step in it (which grosses me out really bad for some reason) I automatically assume someone pee’d on the floor. Why? Why do I do this? It’s not like there is a dog or a kid here? I am an odd duck.
I am going to be working on my paper tonight. It’s due on Tuesday so it’s not that my time limit is stressful, it’s the fact that I don’t have a god damn clue what I am doing. When I signed up for this class I was ready for a challenge. That is what life is about, stepping out of your comfort zone & exploring things that scare you.
Even though I know I can do this, part of me is beginning to see what I am good at and what I am not good at. Creative writing/pulling shit out of my ass is my specialty (pardon my french) – Journalism, mmm, not so much. Avoiding the things I struggle with will not get me anywhere in life. Deep down, I am simply scared to death of failing. With lots of hard work I hope to avoid that and prove myself wrong. I rubbed my buddhas belly twice today… I hope it helps.
Until this paper is done you (hopefully) will not hear from me. XOXO